Football Daily | Newcastle United and the indignity of losing to West Ham

HAMMERITE? Following defeat at Leeds 10 days ago, one West Ham-supporting WAG suggested Jarrod Bowen “must feel like that one human actor in a Muppets film” in a Social Media Disgrace post that got nowhere near the amount of LOLs it deserved. And having seen their team go a goal down on Sunday, moments after their captain had spanked a shot from distance off a post, West Ham fans must have felt it was going to be another regulation day in which Bowen tried to channel his inner Michael Caine in a bid to lend some much-needed gravitas to a typically absurdist and slapstick performance. The feeling can only have been heightened when he was awarded a penalty only to see it overturned by the curtain-twitchers in Stockley Park. But against all odds, West Ham dug deep and managed to eke out a rare and thoroughly deserved victory. Helped in no small part by one of the most awful showings by a Newcastle side under Eddie Howe, the Hammers won their first game under Nuno Espírito Santo at the fifth time of asking. And having spent his first four matches in charge looking like the physical embodiment of a cold and wet Monday morning commute, it was the Portuguese manager and his staff who ended the game dancing in celebration on the touchline. “I think just the body language, the collective spirit on the pitch, loads of little things that contribute to our performance, wasn’t there,” said Howe afterwards, looking genuinely traumatised by the horror show he had seen unfold at the London Stadium. “The physicality, the energy was missing. It was hugely frustrating for us, that was a poor performance. We just weren’t ourselves.” In winning a football match and playing well despite some early setbacks, West Ham certainly weren’t themselves either but only time will tell if their victory is a significant sign that a corner has finally been turned. They host Burnley next in a critical six-pointer before an international break that precedes a hellish run of fixtures in which Bournemouth, Liverpool, Manchester United, Brighton, Aston Villa and Manchester City could burst any bubbles they are forever blowing. “When things went against us the reaction from the boys was good and I’m pleased with the way we did it because we were up against the ropes,” said Nuno. “It’s a little step in the right direction but it’s a very important one, too.” While Sunday was a grim day for a Newcastle side who have yet to win on the road in five league attempts this season, fans making the long journey home were at least able to console themselves with the knowledge that at least one Premier League side from the north-east is doing the region proud by defying all expectations this season. In Monday’s David Moyes-Jordan Pickford derby, Sunderland host an underperforming Everton side and know victory will take them second – second! – in the table. Apparently unfussed by the malign influence of the ‘red cartels’ and PSR rules whose entire raison d’etre is to keep their Geordie neighbours in their place, the newly-promoted and well-oiled Mackem machine will be just five points off the Premier League pace being set by Arsenal if they beat Everton. And with Mikel Arteta’s team of bottlers due to visit the bubbling cauldron that is the Stadium of Light next weekend, the Black Cats could go into the international break positively purring. LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE Join Rob Smyth for live coverage of Sunderland 1-0 Everton in the Premier League, kicking off at 8pm (GMT). QUOTE OF THE DAY “I’ve had one of the most incredible jobs in football which also had a higher purpose because it was my country. That’s going to be very hard to replicate. Having had 37 years in football I’m enjoying finding other areas where I think I might be able to make a difference” – it turns out Sir Gareth Southgate isn’t in a rush to return to a club job like Middlesbrough after managing England. The 55-year-old is doing the rounds before Thursday’s release of his book, ‘Dear England: Lessons in Leadership’, which presumably doesn’t have a chapter on Southgate putting 10 men behind the ball for 85 minutes against Croatia and letting prime Luke Modric absolutely run the game. FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS A few weeks back I listened to a discussion on the wireless about AI. A man informed that the limits of AI include the fact that ‘AI doesn’t have a sense of humour’. Imagine my surprise when it turned up in Football Daily” – Michael Lloyd. As a Bournemouth fan I can assure you that the best AI tactics are Andoni Iraola’s” – Kelvin Baynton. Given the current farago surrounding Crystal Palace’s impending fixture pile up, would it make more sense to redefine the Fizzy Cup as only being open to teams that have not qualified for Europe that season? This would help with potential fixture clashes, but more importantly it is likely to open up the competition and increase the chances of a ‘smaller club’ winning it. I doubt any of the bigger clubs would complain about being excluded” – Rob Burton (and no other sensible readers). Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … Michael Lloyd. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.  RECOMMENDED LISTENING Get your ears around the latest episode of Football Weekly, in which Max Rushden, Barry Glendenning, Jonathan Wilson and Philippe Auclair discuss Vítor Pereira’s Wolves departure and benches. NEWS, BITS AND BOBS Nottingham Forest owner Evangelos Marinakis has vowed to help fund medical care for any fan involved in the Huntingdon train knife attack after a season-ticket holder suffered serious injuries protecting a young girl. One of the people attacked has been named as Scunthorpe United’s Jonathan Gjoshe, who sustained non-life-threatening injuries but remains in hospital, the club said. The Fifpro women’s World XI is mostly made up of Lionesses, pass it on. Six of the 11 are English with Leah Williamson, Hannah Hampton, Lucy Bronze, Chloe Kelly, Alessia Russo and Millie Bright (who recently retired as an international) make the team. The revolving door marked Do One is spinning fast with Vítor Pereira being sacked by Wolves and a negative resolution to the question ‘will Will Still still be boss at Southampton after poor results?’ Former Molineux boss Gary O’Neil is in the frame for a second stint - something that seems to be working out so far for Martin O’Neill at Celtic after Sunday’s League Cup semi-final win over Rangers - while former Luton manager Rob Edwards has also been linked. In a ringing endorsement for those seeking managerial vacancies, David Moyes says “football can sicken you” as he prepares to take his Everton side to Sunderland, the club he quit in 2017 after spending too long in a dark room. The most blatantly obvious quote of the weekend award goes to Pep Guardiola after this insight on Erling Haaland. “Without him, it’d be tough, to be honest,” pondered the Manchester City boss after the Norwegian took his Premier League tally this season to 13 with a double against Bournemouth (no other City player has scored more than one). Some USA USA USA suit news, if you’re into that sort of thing. And Marcus Rashford continues to do the business with his sixth goal in his last 10 games for Barcelona in a 3-1 victory over Elche. Barça are still five points behind leaders Real Madrid, who warmed up for Tuesday night’s trip to Anfield with a 4-0 home win over Valencia. ROAD TO WEMBLEY Isthmian League North side Maldon & Tiptree, the lowest-ranked side to reach this season’s FA Cup first round came unstuck at Port Vale, with Darren Moore’s side roaring to a 5-1 win thanks to goals from Ruari Paton, George Hall and Devante Cole, son of Andy/Andrew. STILL WANT MORE? In an exclusive extract from her forthcoming autobiography, Mary Earps reveals how her life unravelled during the Covid lockdowns of 2020. And the former England goalkeeper also gets her chat on with Donald McRae, revealing her problems with eating and alcohol, and why she’d struggle on The Traitors. Smells like team spirit: Louise Taylor on the state of nirvana at Sunderland where players putting the collective ahead of self is reaping rewards. Arsenal winning to nil again, trouble at Tottenham and more away day woes for Newcastle. Get your Premier League talking points while they are still hot. And we have WSL talking points as well, of course, with London City looking promising despite defeat and Liverpool vowing to fight on. Grenfell Athletic are creating a hopeful future despite the pain of loss from the 2017 tower fire. Donald McRae on an inspiring new documentary. Jonathan Wilson looks at whether the Premier League’s trendy emphasis on set-pieces is just a fad (it is). And Mr Wilson has also done this explainer on why Saudi money hasn’t transformed Newcastle into title contenders. Nicky Bandini explains how Fiorentina became a crisis club. Sid Lowe on a Basque derby like no other. ‘This was less an authentic Topspiel and more a piercing afterparty hangover, a tough supermarket-bread pretzel and lukewarm coffee, a Monday morning letter from HMRC, a black and white declaration of unavoidable dues owed’ – yep, it’s Andy Brassell talking about Bayern Munich 3-0 Bayer Leverkusen. And PSG face an unusual problem: they are not scoring enough goals in Ligue 1, writes Luke Entwistle. MEMORY LANE With Sunderland riding high in the top flight and taking on Everton later, let’s take a look back to the club’s last major trophy – the 1973 FA Cup. Bob Stokoe’s second-tier side stunned mighty Leeds 1-0 in the final, Ian Porterfield securing one of the great FA Cup shocks. These two fans had their car repainted for the big game, in what could be one of the most 1970s images ever committed to film. And would you like to know what Johan Cruyff thought of the game? Of course you would. CAKE