Rocky Horror creator Richard O’Brien: ‘The Spice Girls couldn’t sing. But lovely girls’

Strange Journey: The Story Of Rocky Horror is out to celebrate 50 years of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. What’s the strangest journey Rocky Horror has taken you on? I was at the 30th anniversary at Queen’s Theatre in Shaftesbury Avenue. After the show, I was in the downstairs bar, chatting to a couple of people. I turned around and going up the stairs was a man in such high heels – these fetish shoes – that he couldn’t walk in them. He had a leather thong up his arse, and I thought to myself: “I suppose I’m responsible for that, aren’t I?” Your family emigrated to New Zealand when you were 10 and your dad bought a sheep farm. What was the name of your favourite childhood sheep? I don’t know how my father ever became a sheep farmer. My father was a bean counter. He was the most unambitious human being on the planet. He counted beans through the week. He was the city treasurer in Tauranga for the last 20 years of his life, and he played golf on the weekends. I didn’t have a sheep. I wasn’t into pets. Especially not a sheep. What’s the most out-of-date item in your fridge? I’d have to go and look. There have been times when I’ve been staying at someone’s place and they’ve said “help yourself”, so I’ve opened their fridges and they’re lovers of runny French cheeses. That’s not a happy moment, is it? What’s the ideal length of men’s shorts? To the ankle. Sign up for the fun stuff with our rundown of must-reads, pop culture and tips for the weekend, every Saturday morning You play a photographer in 1997’s Spice World. In what order would you like to photograph the Spice Girls? I don’t know, really. I know, um – what’s her lovely name? Baby Spice. Emma. Emma Bunton, she’s delightful. I don’t know the other four. I’ve not met them since we did the movie. Am I a fan? Not particularly. They couldn’t sing. Their big hit was a chant: “I’ll tell you what I want / What I really, really want.” It’s not singing. Singing is the purest art form. The first song ever sung was a mother cooing to her baby. What a delightful origin to something so delicious. When a great unaffected singer like Billie Holiday is singing, without any kind of showing off, it’s just delightful. I love good singing. Music keeps you alive. The Spice Girls were put together and became a very successful pop group. No shame in that. As great singers, they don’t qualify. But lovely girls. Who last addressed you as Dick? Gay friends call me Dicky occasionally, but there’s probably something else going on there. [Composer] Lionel Bart and other chums from the 70s used to call me Ritzy. I was in a drag club in the East End one Saturday night. This chap leaned in towards me and said [does funny voice]: “Say, what’s your girly name?” I said: “Richard.” “No, no, no. What’s your girly name?” “Richard.” The poor being was so nonplussed, the conversation ended there. It’s a nice regal name. King Richard. What a sad reality that we see him as a glorious being. What a dreadful fucking human being he was. King Richard I beheaded more than 2,000 of Saladin’s men in a single day in the name of Jesus, because they hadn’t got the message that Jesus was a kind and caring kind of being. It’s as insane as it is maddening. I’m so anti-Abrahamic creationist fantasy. It’s become my bugbear before I pop my clogs. The whole business is nonsense. The abandonment of rationality in the United States is partly due to creation, myth and fantasy being held as reality.Is it ironic that you used to be a hairdresser? I was a barber from 1959 to 1964 in Hamilton in New Zealand. It was a man cave. Looking back, I can’t quite believe that on a daily basis, there were so many dirty, inappropriate jokes. If Edward Tudor-Pole was begging for mercy, would you let him out of The Crystal Maze? Um … no. I wouldn’t want to take Eddie on. I’d steer clear. I’d leave Eddie to his own devices. Related: ‘Risky is the best way to be’: Tim Curry on sexuality, surviving a stroke – and 50 years of stardom What’s been your most cringeworthy run-in with a celebrity? I have a lovely happy memory from one afternoon in 1968. I was on a bus with Aretha Franklin’s band going towards Hammersmith, with an actor friend of mine, Arthur Kelly. Arthur and I used to write songs, and we got to meet the piano player in Aretha’s Band, a chap named Gary Illingworth. When we got to the Hammersmith Odeon, I was standing on stage when Aretha Franklin came on to do her mic tests and warm up. Nobody came over and said: “Excuse me, who are you?” The relaxed nature of things back then was just marvellous. Would you rather die at the bottom of the sea or deep out into space? Bottom of the sea, because that’s where we came from. I don’t think I’d want to go into space. We’re built for gravitational pull. This is our environment. We’re not meant to be out there. I wouldn’t even want to go out to space for a week, or three. Strange Journey: The Story of Rocky Horror is now available on DVD, Blu-ray and digitally