Technology
Volcanic Ash: Honolulu rail hits milestone; we applaud with good humor
City and state leaders didn’t want to talk about the sordid past of Honolulu rail at last week’s opening of the latest leg from Aloha Stadium to Middle Street.
“We could look back into why it took so long, but let’s not,” said state Transportation Director Ed Sniffen. “Let’s look at where we are today, and where that will be going forward.”
OK, let’s play along. Stick around to the end and we’ll throw in some laughs.
Middle Street, which extends the line to 15 miles from its start in East Kapolei, is actually a milestone for both rail officials and critics.
With new stops at employment centers such as Joint Base Pearl Harbor- Hickam and the airport, it gives the city a big chance to improve miserable ridership on the Aloha Stadium leg, which has run between 1,842 and 7,519 boardings daily as near-empty trains go back and forth.
Mayor Rick Blangiardi is predicting upward of 25,000 riders a day a year from now, though he admits the number is more gut than research.
It’s also a reality test for critics who have long called for ending rail at Middle Street to stanch runaway costs.
CRITICS, WHO have included me at moments of exasperation, argued that natural transfer points at Lagoon Drive and the Middle Street transit center would allow convenient express bus service to take commuters to final destinations such as downtown, Waikiki and the University of Hawaii at Manoa.
That’s exactly what the city plans to do in the six years before the final Civic Center leg is scheduled for completion. So we’ll have the express buses and find out how viable an option a Middle Street terminus would have been.
In any case, we’ve got so much invested in this endeavor that fans and critics alike should be rooting for its success as it takes this critical next step forward.
Sniffen waxed engineerish when he said rail “is setting us up for our connected, and resilient and sustainable systems that we’ve been looking forward to for a long time.”
I wondered about his meaning. Literally. Do those words actually mean something or are they just random words flummoxed officials string together about rail?
WHICH GOT me thinking we haven’t had a Volcanic Ash joke-writing contest for awhile.
So here we go, readers. Let’s get busy writing some bright one-liners that display both our keen understanding of what public officials say and our sense of humor.
Simply write a funny finish to explain the meaning of this setup line:
Transportation director Ed Sniffen said Honolulu rail “is setting us up for our connected, and resilient and sustainable systems.” (Add your punchline here, i.e., “Yeah, it connects us in grief.”)
Send entries to volcanicash@gmail.com; I’ll share the best here if they’re plentiful enough and send $20 Longs gift cards to the writers of the five I find funniest.
Anyone can enter and multiple submissions are welcome. To win prizes, you’ll have to give your real name. If you’re ICE, gotta take off the mask.
Pro tip: The goal is light and witty, not a wordy diatribe. Biting is fine, but don’t go all T. rex.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
City and state leaders didn’t want to talk about the sordid past of Honolulu rail at last week’s opening of the latest leg from Aloha Stadium to Middle Street.
“We could look back into why it took so long, but let’s not,” said state Transportation Director Ed Sniffen. “Let’s look at where we are today, and where that will be going forward.”
OK, let’s play along. Stick around to the end and we’ll throw in some laughs.
Middle Street, which extends the line to 15 miles from its start in East Kapolei, is actually a milestone for both rail officials and critics.
With new stops at employment centers such as Joint Base Pearl Harbor- Hickam and the airport, it gives the city a big chance to improve miserable ridership on the Aloha Stadium leg, which has run between 1,842 and 7,519 boardings daily as near-empty trains go back and forth.
Mayor Rick Blangiardi is predicting upward of 25,000 riders a day a year from now, though he admits the number is more gut than research.
It’s also a reality test for critics who have long called for ending rail at Middle Street to stanch runaway costs.
CRITICS, WHO have included me at moments of exasperation, argued that natural transfer points at Lagoon Drive and the Middle Street transit center would allow convenient express bus service to take commuters to final destinations such as downtown, Waikiki and the University of Hawaii at Manoa.
That’s exactly what the city plans to do in the six years before the final Civic Center leg is scheduled for completion. So we’ll have the express buses and find out how viable an option a Middle Street terminus would have been.
In any case, we’ve got so much invested in this endeavor that fans and critics alike should be rooting for its success as it takes this critical next step forward.
Sniffen waxed engineerish when he said rail “is setting us up for our connected, and resilient and sustainable systems that we’ve been looking forward to for a long time.”
I wondered about his meaning. Literally. Do those words actually mean something or are they just random words flummoxed officials string together about rail?
WHICH GOT me thinking we haven’t had a Volcanic Ash joke-writing contest for awhile.
So here we go, readers. Let’s get busy writing some bright one-liners that display both our keen understanding of what public officials say and our sense of humor.
Simply write a funny finish to explain the meaning of this setup line:
Transportation director Ed Sniffen said Honolulu rail “is setting us up for our connected, and resilient and sustainable systems.” (Add your punchline here, i.e., “Yeah, it connects us in grief.”)
Send entries to volcanicash@gmail.com; I’ll share the best here if they’re plentiful enough and send $20 Longs gift cards to the writers of the five I find funniest.
Anyone can enter and multiple submissions are welcome. To win prizes, you’ll have to give your real name. If you’re ICE, gotta take off the mask.
Pro tip: The goal is light and witty, not a wordy diatribe. Biting is fine, but don’t go all T. rex.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
