Everything I wish I’d known before I decided to freeze my eggs at 36

When I first told my mother I was freezing my eggs, she asked: “So my grandchildren are going to be stored next to some Häagen-Dazs?” (Very funny, Mum.) I’m one of an increasing number of women in the UK who have chosen to put their eggs on ice in order to preserve their fertility, although this does – as discussed later – have clear limitations. According to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA), the UK’s regulator for the fertility industry, there was a 170% increase in the number of egg freezing cycles between 2019 and 2023. The technology has been around since the 80s, but became more accessible in the 00s with vitrification, a flash-freezing technique. Now, celebrities such as Florence Pugh and Michaela Coel openly discuss their experiences of it, and companies such as Meta, Spotify and Goldman Sachs subsidise the procedure for employees. Despite growing awareness, oocyte cryopreservation – as it’s known medically – can feel like an impossibly complex and daunting procedure. At least it did for me. It didn’t help that this particular part of the fertility industry is facing criticism for its commercialisation and lack of transparency. Here are the things I wish I’d known about egg freezing before embarking on the process. Think of egg freezing as the first half of IVF Somewhat naively, I didn’t think of freezing my eggs as a step on the road to eventual IVF. In the same way as in an IVF cycle, the ovaries are hormonally stimulated to overproduce follicles, which each contain a single egg. Once these follicles mature, the resulting eggs are retrieved under sedation, and frozen. When you’re ready to use them, they’re warmed and mixed with sperm before getting transferred to your womb, again as with IVF. If you’re thinking about putting your eggs on ice, you should know you’re signing up for IVF if you can’t get pregnant naturally. A frozen egg doesn’t guarantee a child “You’ve got to be prepared that it may not be successful,” says Prof Melanie Davies, a senior consultant gynaecologist at University College London Hospitals’ reproductive medicine unit. Some eggs may not survive freezing, let alone thawing, fertilisation or embryo transfer to the womb. The best way to approach egg freezing is as an addition to your reproductive arsenal, advises Dr Zeynep Gurtin, a lecturer at the Institute for Women’s Health at University College London (UCL): “It gives you another option to try to become a parent using your own genetic material, but in no way does it guarantee that will happen.” Do your research to find the best clinic You can look for UK clinics on the HFEA website and the Seen fertility advice website. Seen CEO Kayleigh Hartigan recommends brainstorming what’s most important to you: do you want a bigger clinic that sees a lot of clients but may feel slightly impersonal, or would you prefer a smaller one with a more hands-on approach? “Have a call with the clinic to figure out if they’re your people and you like them.” It’s difficult to find egg freezing success rates because the procedure is relatively new. The best way to gauge a clinic is its live birth per embryo transfer rates. You can see if this compares favourably against the national average by searching for the clinic on the HFEA website. Watch out for clinics that engage in “overselling, talking about things like guarantees and ‘you’ll regret this if you don’t’ messaging – to me, that’s a massive red flag”, says Gurtin. Schedule more time for it than you think My egg freezing process ended up taking place over two months as my initial cycle had to be abandoned because I wasn’t responding to ovarian stimulation. Expect to spend roughly two weeks on a single cycle. You’ll inject yourself with hormones once or twice a day for around eight to 11 days. Typically, this kicks off on the first or second day of your period, which means your start date is somewhat at the mercy of your menstrual cycle – this is important to note if you’re planning your egg freezing cycles around work or trips abroad. You’ll have to juggle scans around work In order to monitor follicle growth, you’ll be booked in for regular scans where an ultrasound probe is inserted into your vagina. I ended up missing work in order to make my appointments, though many clinics do offer appointments outside normal work hours. That’s why finding a clinic near your home or workplace is important: “You don’t want to be travelling for an hour,” says Matilda Hay, a film-maker who documented egg freezers before undergoing the procedure herself. Both Hay and I ended up visiting our clinics around four times over 11 days. At the very least, you’ll also have to take a day off to recover from sedation during the egg retrieval operation. The injections are surprisingly fine Most women, myself included, are surprised by how quickly you acclimatise to injecting yourself. “Most fertility injections are subcutaneous – they go in the fat under the skin and are short needles,” says Wael Saab, a fertility consultant and clinical director at the Centre for Reproductive and Genetic Health in London. You inject yourself in your lower belly – it’s not pleasant, but it’s less painful than intramuscular injections such as those used for vaccinations. Don’t panic if you’re late for a jab Injections should be administered at the same time every day, but if you’re off by an hour or a couple of hours “it shouldn’t make a huge difference”, says Saab. But missing one injection completely could jeopardise the cycle. His advice is to immediately contact your clinic if this happens. You can also take your medication out with you. “Someone from my project wanted to go on a hike, and she put her medication into a Thermos flask with an ice pack,” says Hay, who used a Chilly’s bottle in a similar way. Age plays a bigger role than you think According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, there is “insufficient data” on the optimal age for egg freezing. Nevertheless, it does say that live birthrates are higher among younger women. “It’s not that your fertility falls off a cliff when you hit 35,” says Gurtin. “Many women naturally conceive in their late 30s and 40s, but we know that egg freezing is likely to be more successful if the eggs are of better quality, and that quality is primarily related to age.” You may have to do more than one round I was definitely overconfident about only needing a single round of egg freezing – I was 36 and only got six eggs, which means my chances of conceiving are relatively low. Research varies, but one study estimates that 35- to 37-year-olds will need to freeze 15 eggs to have a 70% chance of a single live birth. Another estimates that a 37-year-old would need 20 frozen eggs to have a 75% likelihood. But this isn’t just a “numbers game”, according to Joyce Harper, professor of reproductive science at UCL. “Female fertility is about the quantity and quality of your eggs and about your womb,” she says. “You can have all the eggs you want and not get pregnant.” You don’t need to go wild on supplements All the medical experts stressed that a healthy lifestyle – a balanced diet and getting enough sleep and exercise – is more important than expensive supplements. “The main thing is to avoid poisoning yourself with cigarettes and recreational drugs”, along with alcohol and vaping, says Davies. If you do want to invest in supplements, Saab suggests vitamin D, folic acid and coenzyme Q10: “I advise my patients to start taking them as soon as I see them and to continue throughout the treatment.” You should also come off the pill before your egg freezing cycle. “You will have a better response [and get more eggs] if you’re not taking hormonal contraception,” Davies says. The same goes for those taking testosterone as part of gender-affirming hormone therapy. Watch out for extra costs and medication According to the HFEA, egg freezing and thawing costs between £7,000 and £8,000. But it’s easy to spend more – Luzia Bruckamp, an Oxford-based PhD student who blogged about her egg freezing journey, ended up paying £6,700 for her first round. She was initially quoted a much lower price on the phone, and advises getting final quotes for everything by email. Many clinics will quote an initial price that may not include blood tests or scans. You’ll also be given a broad price range for medication – somewhere between £500 and £1,500. That’s because these vary depending on the individual, so it’s best to build a financial buffer into your budget. You won’t be able to hit the gym hard As a gym bunny, I was gutted at having to cut out heavy weightlifting during my egg freezing cycle. Intense and high-impact workouts are discouraged to mitigate the risk of ovarian torsion, in which an ovary twists on its supporting structures, cutting off its blood supply. This is a rare complication, though. Egg freezing is mostly very safe, though some experience mild side-effects from the injections and after egg collection, such as fatigue, bloating or mood swings. Egg retrieval is less scary than it sounds On the day of egg collection, I was sedated and my eggs were drained out of their follicles with a thin needle. “It shouldn’t normally take more than about 30 minutes,” says Harper. As with any surgical operation, there is a risk of infection and complications, but you’ll normally go home a few hours later. You can take over-the-counter painkillers if you need them, and you’ll find out how many eggs were collected on the day. Feeling emotional isn’t uncommon Don’t be surprised if this all sparks some deep existential questions about your relationship status and future. “There are a lot of emotions like, ‘I’m doing this on my own because I haven’t found my person,’” says Michelle, a Londoner who froze her eggs in 2022. Talk to other egg freezers and build a support network, even if it’s just a parent or a few sympathetic friends. Facebook groups such as the Egg Freezing Support Community and Egg Freezing Support (UK) can also be useful sources of connection.